Diary of a Mad Man

Everything under the sun…

Category: Misanthropy

Is this the WORST thing you’ve read all week?

I have, on many occasions, slammed Chris Maxcer of MacNewsWorld. He’s generally fairly muddle headed in his thinking and myopic in his viewpoint. But today, he goes above and beyond the call of the usual clueless pundit and jumps write into Edward George Bulwer-Lytton territory.

His article, “Does Apple Need a Bigger Stick – or Charm School?”

Starts off like this:

Apple, in so many ways, is now king of the hill. As such, behind every rock on the Web there seems to be a new charge to knock Apple down.

If a competitor isn’t charging the hill, Apple seems to be the target for stone-throwing. It’s not that this is unexpected; the rise and fall of companies — and Hollywood starlets — is commonplace. But does a meteoric rise always require a fall?

Is it just me or is that the most nonsensical pasting together of sentences into an opening you’ve read all week? And what do “hollywood starlets” have to do with anything?

I literally had to read the above four times to make sure I wasn’t simply being dense and not comprehending Maxcer’s writing.

I still can’t comprehend it but at least now I see it for what it is – truly shitty writing.

The rest doesn’t get any better. In the middle, Maxcer uses the word “still” five times in five consecutive sentences. Maxcer/MacNewsWorld – hire a fucking copy editor.

The 20 Biggest Brand Fails of 2012

Adweek:
we’ve compiled 20 of the most notable brand fails from 2012—a nice dose of ad-enfreude to fill your evil rubbernecking hearts with joy. Just be glad it wasn’t you.

Most of these just leave you shaking your head in amazement at the colossal stupidity of some of these companies.

The 20 Biggest Brand Fails of 2012 | Adweek

Graf von Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil

$260 for a PENCIL!?

A premium pencil in precious Californian cedar…

If it’s so fucking precious WHY ARE YOU MAKING PENCILS OUT OF IT!?

This is the perfect thing for New Media Douchebags and “more money than brains” hipsters to buy themselves. If I see someone using one, I will stab them in the eye with it…

Graf von Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil.

Steakadelphia Review on Yelp – from a Vegetarian


Last night, my friends (Michel, Hannamari and Yee) went to a place in SE Portland called Steakadelphia. According to Michel, they make traditional Philly Cheesesteaks so I was really looking forward to it. I’d been to Philly a couple of times but never long enough to get to one of their two famous Cheesesteak places.

Steakadelphia is a small, plain, unassuming place. Absolutely nothing special. But the cheesesteak (even if I didn’t have the “traditional” one) was greasy and messy and freaking delicious!

So I wanted to go to Yelp to leave them a review. As I was checking it out, I read what has to be the funniest review I’ve ever read:

Honestly, in the 14 years that I’ve been a vegetarian I have never had such a horrifying experience.

LMAO Well, I imagine it would be!

If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, do yourself a favor and stay FAR FAR AWAY.

Well….DUH…. :)

So Princess…WTF makes you think that you would get good vegetarian service from a restaurant that revels in their carnivoreness!?

Today’s “Stupidest Sentence of the Day” Award Winner!

Congratulations to Chris Maxcer of MacNewsWorld. He’s the winner of our “Stupidest Sentence of the Day” Award:

Because of advertising, by starting with the awesome foundation of the product itself, Apple can charge premium prices and still manage to capture the mindshare of everyday consumers.

That sentence is almost perfection. It makes no sense, it’s logically inconsistent, it has no relationship to reality and it’s poorly written – BRAVO!

Pizza Slicer Fork for the incurably Lazy

Five Dollar Finds:
This is rather ridiculous, but it is better than cutting it with a knife. If the pizza is hot and you have to cut it, mind as well do it right.

NO! NO NO NO! It’s NOT “better than cutting it with a knife”! You’d look like an even bigger idiot using this thing! And “If the pizza is hot…” do what your momma told you to do when you were a kid – BLOW ON IT!

“Please Move The Deer Crossing”


Please tell me this was a joke….or at least…we’re not letting her breed or vote…

Jiro Dreams of Sushi


I watched the documentary “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” over the weekend. It’s available via Netflix. It’s a very interesting (if slowly paced) movie about one man, 86 year old Sushi Master Jiro Ono, and his driving passion to create the world’s greatest sushi.

The care Jiro takes in preparation of his sushi is remarkable. The presentation to the customer is simplicity itself. The family dynamic of the restaurant is very interesting.

I applaud him for his remarkable life and effort but I’m never going to eat at his restaurant.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE sushi. I can eat a LOT of sushi. But Ono’s Michelin three star rated restaurant is in the basement of a building in the Ginza section of Tokyo – I’m unlikely to ever get back to Tokyo as much as I would love to.

Sukiyabashi Jiro also requires reservations be made three months in advance (that may partly be because the restaurant only seats 10 people at the sushi bar). And, as many people point out, the cost of the meal starts at $300 per person and rapidly goes up from there.

I’m not a chepskate but I find it hard to believe that even the greatest sushi in the world is worth that kind of money.

But what makes it worse is the speed at which you are expected to eat your meal. Every article I’ve seen on the restuarant always remarks on the 15-20 minutes you are “allowed” to eat your meal before you are moved on for the next customers.

SCREW THAT.

I will take my own damn sweet time eating bad steak at a Chili’s – and I have. I will take my own damn sweet time eating shepherd’s pie at my local pub – and I have. I will take my own damn sweet time eating a 10 course meal at one of the most expensive restaurants in Las Vegas – and I have.

I sure as hell won’t be made to rush and eat faster by an 86 year old Japanese man who just took $300+ dollars from me and each of my friends for a 20 minute meal.

If I want “fast” food, Tokyo has all kinds of MacDonalds.

Jessica Ravitz is a Luddite, genetically stupid and smug – but she still thinks she’s better than you

These pompous articles pop up every now and then. Jessica Ravitz’s CNN piece is just the latest in a long line of them.

I get that some people (and not just senior citizens) don’t like “technology”. I get that some people think our fetishization of tech is a bad thing (I would agree). But what I don’t get is those people who proudly trumpet their stupidity as if it were a kind of Merit Badge and, even worse, use their stupidity as a club to somehow argue it makes them better than the rest of us.

Ravitz says:

My aversion has everything to do with who I am — and who I desperately don’t want to be, and by that I mean many of you.

Does that make any sense to anyone?

She then uses a kneeslapping story about how one of her father’s cousins mistook the remote for a cell phone (Oh, the hilarity!) as code to show her family is genetically predisposed towards being “dubious about and don’t need technological advances.” Really? You don’t need technological advances? How are your car’s anti-lock brakes working for you? Happy to have a working smoke alarm in your home? Do you use…oh…I don’t know THE INTERNET TO POST YOUR STORIES FOR CNN?

She makes it worse but not only acknowledging her lack of interest in technology but in actively working against it. She says:

People swore (my new MacBook Pro) would change my attitude about technology. They said it was intuitive, a good thing since I don’t read instruction manuals.

You don’t like “technology”, you claim your inability to use it is genetic but, when you buy technology and instructions are provided to assist you with it, you actively ignore them?

You’ve stopped being a Luddite and stepped over the line into “The Stupid”.

I kind of hated (the MacBook Pro) — in part because I found the screen so hard to see. Imagine my surprise and gratitude when a colleague recently walked by, reached over and tapped some button a bunch of times, and the whole thing brightened before my eyes.

So, because you didn’t take responsibility for your own education – you didn’t read a manual, you didn’t take the opportunity to learn about your laptop from the manufacturer, you didn’t ask your fellow employees or maybe your company’s IT department, you didn’t read a book, you didn’t go to an online forum, you didn’t ask Twitter or Facebook, you didn’t use the included “Help” that is right there at the top of your Macbook’s screen – YOU SAT THERE FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS, HAPPILY MISERABLE OVER THE DIMNESS OF YOUR LAPTOP’S SCREEN.

Jesus Christ.

As people camped out overnight and fought crowds, just so they could wait in line to buy their fifth iPhone, I kicked back and relaxed. Now, I get to laugh as the gripes pour in.

Ah yes. You are so superior to those who lust after technology. You are so far above those who grovel at the feet of the Technology Gods. Your life is so much better because you “don’t know what it’s like to covet such a thing.”

Yet you’re too stupid to know where the Brightness Button is on your laptop.

I can’t help but think about the kids I just visited in a refugee camp who are dying for the one bowl of food they get in a day.

She piles on the moral superiority too. That really hurts. And is completely fucking irrelevant.

She says:

I don’t want to receive pictures of anyone’s dinner while I’m out having mine. I don’t want to check out of an actual conversation because a random friend used an app to check in for an eyebrow wax. I don’t want to read work e-mails on a beach vacation when I should be reading a novel.

Does she somehow believe those things are forced on those of us who use the technology? That somehow, we have no control over it and, once you buy a smartphone, the cell provider has complete control over you via some kind of mind meld?

It would help if you understand a thing before you start critiquing it. In this regard, I blame CNN. This would be an easily ignored blog post if it were found on Tumblr. But (James Earl Jones voice over) “This is CNN”. Maybe I shouldn’t expect more but I’m idealist enough to believe CNN employees writers who know what the fuck they are talking about before they send them a check. From the above paragraph alone, Ms Ravitz has no clue.

I realize I probably sound self-righteous, but I find this must-have mentality both absurd and borderline icky.

YA THINK!? But don’t worry – I find your smug stupidity just as absurd.

I’ll leave the last word to one of Ravitz’s own friends who said to her over dinner:

“Honey, I hate to break this to you, but it’s not your phone that’s stupid.”

Amen.

TV Shows booted from my Tivo

Ben and Kate – When the best actor on the show is the 5 year old kid, it’s time to stop watching. But even before then, the immaturity of the show was annoying and it was simply a boring as hell premise. Death knell was – NOT FUNNY.

The Neighbors – Holy shit. This show has no redeeming features whatsoever. Awful in every single possible way – acting, directing, writing….inconceivable to imagine we live in a world where this steaming pile of shit could actually get on TV.

The Mindy Project – Another show where I simply don’t care about the whiny, entitled characters. It might be a good show but there’s zero relevance to me from any of the characters. And like Ben and Kate, I never laughed a single time during the first two episodes.

Shows on the bubble:

Animal Practice – not funny but roommate loves the animals

Made in Jersey – not nearly enough cleavage for a show about women from New Jersey

Vegas – watching this just for Chiklis but never a fan of period dramas

Elementary – I so want this to be good (I LOVE LUCY LIU) but it’s not outstanding. It suffers from comparisons to the BBC’s Sherlock

Last Resort – watching just to continue to spot the *HUGE* number of tech details they get completely wrong

The New Normal – who new gays could be so boring?

Go On – Do you wonder what ever happened to Chandler Bing? This show answers that question

The Mob Doctor – always fun watching medical shows with a doctor – “Oh, that’s bullshit!”

666 Park Avenue – I love Terry O’Quinn so I’ll give this show a chance but I’m not holding out a lot of hope

What new shows are you watching or not watching this season and why?

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