The Onion:
Following the publication of the image above, in which the most cherished figures from multiple religious faiths were depicted engaging in a lascivious sex act of considerable depravity, no one was murdered, beaten, or had their lives threatened, sources reported Thursday.
DO NOT let your children read these books!
“Bad Little Children’s Books” are completely demented
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster.
Signing bonuses. Paid college tuition. Job training. High demand work. Loans and travel costs provided.
What kind of employment provides all of this? Strip clubs in Windsor, Ontario.
Hard to believe but there’s a shortage of dancers for the “Canadian Ballet”. New government regulations have restricted visas for foreign strippers and the clubs are feeling the pinch.
What a great country!
The new book’s account, if true, raises the question of whether Bin Laden posed a clear threat in his death throes.
FUCK HIM.
I’m as liberal as they come and more than happy to call out our governments when they do something illegal, immoral or unethical but in this case, I have no problem with the actions the SEALs took however it happened.
I don’t care if they came across Osama bin Laden sitting in a La-Z-Boy recliner, sipping lemonade, watching soccer and eating a peanut butter sandwich – DOUBLE TAP HIS ASS. And then, for good measure? Unload your clip into his still twitching body.
If the SEALs had captured bin Laden alive, there would have been a trial, a conviction and an execution – but it would have dragged on for at least ten years. The end result would have been the exact same as described in the book. So we saved ourselves all that time, money and hassle.
I rarely feel this way but in this case, I’m completely OK that the SEALs killed a “defenseless” man. After all, how many defenseless people did bin Laden’s actions kill?
I am as in love with Emily Hartridge as is humanly possible to be in love with someone you don’t know and have never met. I think she is so wonderfully funny – it helps that she’s drop dead gorgeous, too. 
My mom died.
(no need for condolences. It’s an awkwardness where you don’t know what to say and all I can say is “Thank you”. So – thank you in advance. And I write this not for you to read but just to get the words out of my head so please, don’t feel like you have to read and reply)
She wasn’t a very good mother. But I wasn’t a very good son. Read the rest of this entry »
Sam Waterston as The Newsroom’s Charlie Skinner really has a way with the word “fuck.”
Thanks to Michael Gartenberg for the link.
